Final Count Down
by Lady of the frozen black flame
Summary: This is a fic when Dark Lords have crying fits and how Teddy became the new dark lord, oo and don't forget the FINAL BATTLE! Co. written with hplover4ever. There is supposed to be a hyphen between hp, lover,4 and ever but this summary thing is screwed!


_The final count down: dun dun duuuuuun_

_By Hp-lover-4-ever and Lady of the Frozen Black Flame_

_Summery: If you want to hear of Dark Wizards of all time breaking down and extreme randomness please read._

**Disclaimer: my friend and I do not own HP even if we had a time turner…**

**hp-lover-4-ever: "LOTFBF have you found that spare time turner of mine yet? 'cause I lost my other one when I tried to take over hp last time."**

**LOTFBF: "ummm… nup not yet… Wait why am I looking for it, it was your fault last time!"**

**Hp-lover-4-ever: (shakes her head) "never mind!"**

**Both: Enjoy our fanfic! **

_Scene: The Borrow_

In the kitchen…

The Weasley's, Hermione and some members of the Order of the Phoenix were sitting in the Kitchen eating dinner when they heard a loud pop! They turned around to see the Dark Lord Voldemort and his gang of death eaters.

Voldemort: Mahahaha! It is time to die Potter! (Turns to find Harry) Where is Potter?

Ginny: Oh, you're a bit early… Harry doesn't come here until…(trails off and checks script) another 5 lines.

Voldemort: Ohhhh!

Bill: And you're not supposed to be here in this scene, the final count down is at the ice cream shop!

Voldemort: The ice cream shop?

Hermione: Yeah, the ice cream shop that's on Druley Lane (a/n from Shrek where muffin man lives)

Ron: I like ice cream…mmmmm ice cream

Mr. Weasley and Harry apparated in this room this moment.

Ginny: Seeeee? How did I know?

Charlie: you read the script!

Ginny: That doesn't mean that anyone else knows! And I thought that we were going to keep that a secret for exchange of me not telling everyone that you sniff past girlfriend's underwear.

Everyone: EEEEEW!

Death eater gang: Too much! Toooooo muuuuuuuch!

Harry: Ohhh kaaaaay? Why are you here? You're not supposed to be here, you're supposed to be at the ice cream shop!

Voldemort: Why does everyone know this but me?

Mr. Weasley: You haven't read the script have you!

Voldemort: No sir… (Looks down at the ground ashamed)

Mr. Weasley: and what have I told about not reading the script?

Voldemort: that I would be sent to my room for 5 minutes and we would talk about my actions.

Gred and feorge: Bad Voldy… Evil Voldy! (brings out an evil looking instrument)

Voldemort: Noooo not the evil thingy anything but the evil thingy!

Authoresses: hey stick to the script people! We didn't make it for nothing!

Everybody: Sorry!

Voldemort: Mahahahaha! It's time to die Potter!

Ginny: (brings out platter with the word Deyjavu on it) Deyjavu anyone!

Voldemort: Well they said stick to the script!

Voldemort creates barrier that surround Harry and himself.

Authoresses: hey you were supposed to duel at the ice cream shop!

Everyone: oh can it!

Authoresses look incredibly cut.

Voldemort: Scared Potter

Harry: You wish.

Authoresses: now everybody one… two… three…

Everyone: Deyjavu anyone!

Voldemort: Am I missing something here?

Death Eaters: Just get on with the script we're tired of keeping a scowl on!

Bellatrix: My cheek muscles are sore!

Voldemort: Okay okay keep your scowls on.

All death eaters groan

Minute of silence…

Voldemort: (breaks silence by..) _It's the final count down!_ (a/n if people don't know this is, it is a song and it is not ours… sorry forgot to mention in disclaimer)

Death Eaters groan

Bellatrix: Did I mention my mouth muscles hurt!

Another moment of silence…

Voldemort: Abra kadabra (meant to say Avada Kedavra)

Silence… everyone looks at him

Voldemort: Bloody He-!

Ron: hey J.k Rowling didn't give me that line for nothing you know! Without that all I would be is a boring sidekick!

Voldemort: oh sorry! (goes into deep thought)

Everybody waits in anticipation…

Voldemort: How about… Crap! (Looks at Ron)

Ron: Fine by me now go back to kicking each other's butts!

Voldemort: Avada Keblaba

Everyone looks at him again…

Voldemort: Don't tell me I didn't do it again!

Everyone nodds head

Voldemort : Crap! (Checks script) ah it's Avada Kedavra, I knew something was up.

Authoresses exchange looks..

Hp-lover-4-ever: well duh!

LOTFBF: Didn't you kills like loads of people with that curse?

Voldemort: well I wrote it at the back of my hand, I mean, it's such a hard curse to pronounce!

Authoresses: well they didn't mention any of that in the books!

Harry: can we please get back to the plot I want to kill this guy once and for all you know!

Voldemort: Avada Keblahverha… NOOOOOO NOT AGAIN!

(Voldemort shrinks into the fetal position sobbing extremely loud)

Authoresses: NOO. It happens every time, why do they have to break down, WHY!

Harry: Are you sure you're the dark lord Voldemort?

Voldemort: Who do you think I am, the Boggy Man?

Mrs. Weasley: Well… If you had a nose job I think you would look exactly like him.

Percy: You know the Boggy Man?

Mrs. Weasley: That's none of your business!

All Weasley children look at her…

Mrs. Weasley: Ummm… look You-know-who is having a mental break down and the authoresses are going nuts!

Authoresses: Hey we're not nuts! And what's this about you and the boggy Man?

Lucius: Is the whole world going crazy!

Draco: Only you dad! And stop embarrassing me! People are looking at me! I have a reputa-

Voldy: NOOOOOOOO! Don't sac me I'm way better than…Teddy!

Authoresses have evil grin on face.

Death Eaters: dun dun duuuuuun!

Everyone looks at Teddy…

Snape: My teddy! Nobody looks at my teddy like that…(caresses bear) don't worry teddy everything will be all right…

Prof. McGonagall: I thought he got over teddy in 5th grade?...

Prof. Lupin: Nah we just hid it from him! (Evil grin spreading across his face)

Everyone: I thought you were supposed to be the good one!

Prof. Lupin: it just shows to the world that everyone has secrets!

Random Death Eater: what happened to Boldy?

Draco: Don't you mean Voldy not Boldy?

Random death eater: But his bold… riiight..?

Voldemort: Do you see the ridicule that I have to put with?

Harry hugs Voldemort

Harry: Don't worry I get all the time with being the so called "the chosen one" thing, how do you think I feel…

Harry and Voldemort hug once more.

Everyone: AWWWW….

Ginny: does that mean they're gay?

Gred and feorge: probably

Hermione: But when have you been right?

Gred: true

Feorge: very true.

Harry: Now let's get back to killing each other.

Voldemort: but I would have to say Avada Kedavra! (Wand pointing to ground where own foot lay) (foots dead)

Authoresses: Yay! He got it right!

Voldy: Ow my foot… I can't feel my foot! (Shakes foot vigorously)

Voldemort: Damn! Oh well!

Harry: Can I kill you now?

Voldemort: Only if you can catch my 'cause I'm Voldemort! Mahahaha! (Runs…hit's barrier surrounding them)

Voldemort: Bloody He-!

Ron: (cough) (cough)! (Tapping foot in progress)

Voldemort: Oh… I mean crap! I've gotta stop doing that especially running into that bloody barrier!

Voldemort disengages barrier and runs off and almost colliding with the Weasley's kitchen door.

Voldemort: Damn! (Runs out with out further delay)

Avery: Oh great! We're dead! (Runs out following his master)

Random Death eater: Does that mean we need a new master?

Lucius: I'll be your master! See I can do the laugh… mahahahaa! (Sounds like opera voice)

Bellatrix: Ahhhhh! No way! (Follows Lord Voldemort outside) I'm coming master there's no way I'm having an opera singer for my master!

Authoresses: (holds out teddy) How about him as your master?

Snape: Teddy I'm sooo pround of you! (Tear coming out of eye)

Death Eaters: Hail the Dark Lord Teddy!

Harry: What about Lord Voldemort?

Authoresses: Well, we were going to sac him anyway!

Harry: But can I still kill him?

Authoresses: (shrug) If you want to!

_And so from that moment on Teddy became the most feared wizard of all time._

Hp-lover-4-ever: And He was a bigger hit than Voldemort!

LOTFBF: Amen to that!

(A/n The mistakes of Avada Kedavra curse came from hp-lover-4-ever when she accidentally spoke to fast and tripped over the words (not literally) I hope you liked our fan fic! We are wondering if you want us to make a sequel about Mrs. Weasley and the boggy Man? Tell us your thoughts. PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW FOR US!)


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